Author: lbstowe

I am my own abusive boyfriend.
None can punish me better for sin.

Remaining single, not backing down.
Why would I; too many shits around?

I bristle thinking I’m singular.
I won’t believe no one’s similar.

I’m not special; but I may be blind.
A decade seeing none of my kind.

My first stop would be to blame myself.
But; I’m not the one who cleared this shelf.

If there were boys or toys ever there…
They are all retired; the worse for wear.

I’ll keep writing out sirens’ lyrics…
Coaxing those who get the satiric. 

I won’t chase you & I don’t allow thirst.
Any moves made must be made by you first.

I put myself out there a million ways.
My smiles & eye contact are free most days.

I say good mornings, hellos, how are yous.
I say please, I say thanks, I let them choose.

But lo & behold, most people are cold.
They don’t even notice the words I’ve doled.

My pluck, moxie or stubborn whatever…Bubbles up sun regardless of weather.

I don’t ask, “what if I’d behaved better?”
I’m wild & out there & yours to fetter.

Singing my heart out to Mysterious Power.
Bearing my soul in baths amplified by showers.

All relationships being equal minus sex…
Love is always love; sex, is where it redirects.

Sorted by duty, tension, absence & fondness…
By entendres & situational oddness.

One of four baths stacked; a little singles quartet.
We’re leaning on a nearly free vocal outlet.

It’s better than fighting & screaming in riots.
Some real tears committed to a tub of quiet.

Songs give perspective. Candle lit dark makes you whole.
We need release valves, lest doom & gloom take control. 

Don’t forget to register to vote.
Don’t ever decline to rock the boat.

Please, do not fade into the background.
Please, don’t wait for someone else to be crowned.

Yes, just now, you must be overwhelmed.
Yes, I myself a recent moved helmed.

No, it’s not more than you can handle.
No, this journey won’t end in scandal.

How do I “know” that you will be fine?
How have we survived each finish line?

Because, we pay heed to living sense.
Because, we tend both sides of the fence.

These are the acts of self-possession…
They hold answers to every question.

For: J

Venom sucked from wound & spat onto page.
Viral infections, I will not let rage.

We know from what to do with our anger.
Fearless minds wait out the passing rancor.

All must process, but not all is valid.
Digesting toxins makes us grow pallid.

So we employ bare holes, crannies & nooks.
We paint ugly pretty; sculpt & write books.

Too thankful for my filter creative.
It makes even the toxic feel native.

Try to pass off your greed as practical.
Yet, everyone knows that it’s tactical.

Play-spending the spoils of another’s bulk.
Going green like the Incredible Hulk.

Playing coveting as realism.
Blind & deaf to all you’ve left in schism.

Just because no one is talking to you…
Does not mean the issue wasn’t talked thru.

Expecting a place with scant investment…
Is why you’re now under reassessment.

If only we had a referendum…
We wouldn’t need corrective momentum.

We’re running out of room to back shit up.
Ignoring red flags makes for ends abrupt.

We’re back to zero; I’ll have you know.
Don’t come at me with affections faux.

Keep room between us in company.
To me, you’re no longer somebody.

No one worries I’ll ever be cruel.
I will not speak…much less start a  duel.

If confrontation’s necessary,
I’m no pushover. I will parry.

Assume boundaries; respect each one.
It’s not about us, when said & done.

The point’s peace…& memories for them.
We are now each other’s phantom limb.

I see you there struggling just to get by.
That place is over for you. So, why oh why…

Do you give up so much just for an address?
Happiness could be yours for a whole lot less.

I know you see me. You can’t fucking miss it.
My auto-autopsy here on exhibit…

For every soul in our circular gamut.
My colors shared proudly with all, godammit.

Time to build together; we two rolling stones.
You’ve spent all your hope there & I’m backing loans. 

Marriage, sometimes, seems about choosing a captor.
Bound to in-house coercive velociraptor.

Paired with trusted manipulator unto death.
They’re inevitably brainwashed; heart, mind & breath.

Withholding of affection to assert controls.
So, it erodes connection’s core…collecting tolls.

Stunted loving; because it is rarely mentioned.
Acts are better when linked to words of intention.

For, I don’t see romcoms playing out in real life.
All I’ve seen is resignation twixt man & wife.

You see you in mirrors & you blame the glass?
Blame the room, the decor…but never your ass?

What is left when you’ve lashed out at all in view?
Will you shatter the sight ‘cause it still shows you?

What then? Stumble around looking for targets?
Breaking each reflection, like bulls in markets?

Where does looking everywhere but inward end?
You know it may leave you alone with your sin.

What happens when there’s only one finger left?
Seek reflection for truths of which you’re bereft.